I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
