is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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