I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
