Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
