I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
