i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize