Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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