i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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