Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
