Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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