Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize