I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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