It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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