Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
