Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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