i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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