They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
