It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
