I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
