Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
