Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
