She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
