ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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