Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
