So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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