This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
