I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
