My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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