oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
