Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
