Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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