I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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