hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're like the curious george of whores
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
