Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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