It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
