Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Are my feet made of real feet?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
