end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
