he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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