i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
