Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
