We're facebook friends in real life
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Who died my cat blue again?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
