my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
