dude i'm inner monologue high
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
A+ Viking dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
