The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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