new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
