But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
