did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
