You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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