ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
