It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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