Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize