Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
