How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize