I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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