Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
