Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
