My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
