i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
