i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
