Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
