no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
