I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
