i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
More tranny stories later!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
