I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
