Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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