They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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