Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize