I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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