P.S. I can't hear my feet
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
