The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
