I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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