Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize